Ottawa, Canada — April 10, 2009 — Ottawa River...Image by dugspr — in Osaka via Flickr

Well, I had a busy night last night. I biked to my in-laws, grabbed their car, drove home, grabbed the kids, went grocery shopping, drove home, made supper, drove back to my in-laws, dropped off the car, biked home, rushed over to my friends place and we walked out 5 km. Phew!

At least with all of the busyness I didn't overeat. Although I was hungry and wanted more food. I was able to keep myself from going to the kitchen for more. It was so hot yesterday and all the exercise, I was so sweaty I had to have a shower after my 5 km walk. At least it helped me cool down.

Wow today is such a beautiful day! The sun is shining brightly. It's really hot though and it's not even 11 am. I slept in but was determined to bike anyway. I still made it with enough time to shower and get breakfast. I must say I love biking! Especially in this great weather. I'm even starting to get a tan.

My goal date is Friday and I think I just might make it after all! I'm not sure if you remember I'd set a goal for June 26th. My goals were:

To workout 5-6 times/week with at least 3 of those as heavy workouts at the gym
To be in the 230 lb range I'm aiming for somewhere between 230-235

Well, I haven't made it to the gym at all. I have managed to workout at least 4-6 times per week, (minus one week where I didn't do anything significant). My goal weight will not be 235, but if I'm 238 I'll be excited. I'm hoping to at least be below my lowest recent weight which is 239. Anything below 239 will be great as it will be NEW weight lost which I think will help spiral me out of this rut I've been in.

EXERCISE

Biking: 18.3 km
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1995-1996Image by hyperbolic pants explosion via Flickr

Well, I did really well for most of the last week and then Wham the weekend appears and I've binged for most of the weekend. I barely even touched my food journal which defeats the purpose of keeping a food journal. I know part of it was because of Joey's birthday party and part of it was due to the kids stressing me out. This weekend HAS to be better! I can't let the stress of the kids fighting give me an excuse to binge. If I can stick to my plan during the week why not the weekend? One thing I really noticed was by setting specific times to eat I'm better able to control my eating.

I've been biking again this week. Also didn't keep up with exercising during the weekend either, all in all it was a bad weekend for health and fitness.

This week my goals are:
  • Stick to my specific times for eating
  • Keep track of ALL foods I eat
  • Go to the gym at least twice this week

I haven't been to the gym in a long time. I'm feeling intimidated again, which is ridiculous I know. I'm going to the gym to help myself to gain muscle and lose weight not to try to impress strangers. But it is hard to get up early and when I know I'm biking/walking most days the gym seems like less of a priority.

EXERCISE

Monday
Biking: 18.3 km
Walking: 5 km

Tuesday
Biking: 18.3 km
Walking: 5 km
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Hi! My name is Laura. I have a problem. I'm a binge eater. And for the first time in my life I'm doing something about it.

I have a problem. I've mentioned it before but I don't think I had the right label before. See, I'm reading a book on Binge Eating disorders. No, I'm obviously not anorexic and I'm definitely not bulimic. I know what many of you are thinking "Big Surprise! You're overweight because you eat too much" I know this, but what people don't know or maybe just don't understand is the lack of control when one is bingeing.

When I look back I can see where it started. I think I was prone to it in Shilo but it became a problem when I was living in Petawawa for reasons that I don't need to hash out in my blog. Then when I was living with my grandparents I didn't have the opportunity to binge which is why I lost weight. I gained weight again when I lived on my own and lost weight when I lived with Dawna where again I no opportunity to binge. Through all of this even though I've lost weight in the past I never really fixed the problem and I never really figured out how to deal with stress.

I'm now at the self-help portion of the book. The first step is to monitor EVERYTHING I eat, the good the bad and the ugly. I've also started walking in the evenings with my good friend and "litte sister" Dre. It's only been 2.5 days but I have NOT binged! I know the walking at night is helping a lot. It's my prime binge time.

I'm not looking at calories right now and I'm also not denying myself anything. One of the biggest reasons I binge is because I try to deny myself "bad" foods. Denying food creates this cycle that causes me to binge which causes me to diet which causes me to binge and so on.

A big part of bingeing is secrecy, eating alone, hiding what you eat and how much you eat. Which is why I felt compelled to share with all of you. Binge eating is rarely discussed as the real problem that it is. I always thought that I was just lacked willpower and was lazy. I thought if I just diet enough or lose enough weight that I'd stop eating this way. We hear so much about anorexia and bulemia, but not much is said about binge eating.

I'm so thankful to my dear friend who handed me the book Overcoming Binge Eating by Christopher Fairburn. I highly recommend it to anyone who even thinks they have a binge eating problem.

EXERCISE

Some of you may be wondering whether or not I've kept up with working out. The answer is mostly yes. There was a week I didn't do much of anything, but overall I have continued to bike and I've also started walking at night. I plan on getting back to the gym soon, but I'm in desperate need of new running shoes. Yes, I realize this is probably an excuse and I'm aware of that. At least I'm still getting in a lot of exercise. I bike 19.3 km most work days and I've even went biking last weekend. Saturday I went biking with my husband...alone! (My husband and I getting out alone together is almost unheard of!) We biked 14.5 km that day and had such a wonderful time. Sunday I biked 8 km. Daily I've been biking 18.3 km and wlaking close to 5 km at night.

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